Blue Moony
by JetCooke
Summary: It's the day after the full moon and remus is feeling sorry for himself. Can Sirius cheer him up?


**Written for Diagon Alley Fic Crawl - Rosa Lee Teabag**

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The sun rose over the dilapidated ramshackle building on the hill near Hogsmeade village. Inside a boy lay face down in a pool of blood. The large gash in his side and numerous other cuts and wounds evidenced that the pool of blood came from the boy himself. The boy's name was Remus Lupin.

Remus groaned groggily as Madam Pomfrey fussed around him tutting about injuries and treatments.

"Bad one this month Mr Lupin. You shall have to stay in the hospital wing a bit longer than usual I think. Come on let's get you back to school" Getting to his feet Remus gasped in pain, it felt as if his body had been torn in half overnight. Why did he have to do this? Why was he like this? Each step caused him to wince in pain and by the time he and Madam Pomfrey were half way down the tunnel to school he was close to passing out.

It was only when he awoke in the stark sterile whiteness of the hospital wing that he realised he must have indeed passed out.

"Ah, you're awake." Madam Pomfrey bustled in to view carrying a potion bottle. "You're in a bad state this month I'm afraid. Mister Black has already tried to see you this morning. I told him to come back later. I'm expecting him back fairly soon actually."

"I don't want to see him" Remus downed the potion she had handed him and turned over roughly in bed causing pain to shoot up his left side. As he heard Madam Pomfrey walk away muttering to herself he rolled back on to his back to stare unseeingly at the white tiled ceiling. Ten years of this. Ten years since he'd been bitten. He was four when it started. A normal four year old little boy who enjoyed playing with his parents and going to the park. Now he was fourteen. He should be starting to think about girlfriends, hanging out with mates not tearing himself apart every month. He'd been a normal little boy but now, now he was a monster. A monster who had to be locked up once a month so he didn't kill anyone. He didn't belong here. He loved Dumbledore for giving him this opportunity but a werewolf did not belong at Hogwarts. His troubled thoughts must have given way to sleep because when he opened his eyes he saw the Sirius Black lounging gracefully across the three chairs next to his bed.

"Hey sleepy head," Sirius' face lit up in a lopsided grin and his grey eyes seemed to shine with warmth. "James and Peter are at quidditch or they'd be here too. How was it last night? Pomfrey said it was a bad one."

"Go away." Remus turned his face away from the painful sight of one of his best friends.

"What?!" Remus could hear the confusion in Sirius' voice. "Rem, Moons, what's up? Tell me what's wrong. "

"Nothing. I just. I shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be here. "

"Sorry Rem but we really should be here. You need rest and I need to be here because I'm so painfully good looking. I need some pain relief. It's just too much."

"I'm serious."

"No, I'm Sirius. You're Remus." Sirius grinned at the stupid joke. Remus knew he was hoping it would break him out of his depression but he was too upset to appreciate it.

"Stop. Just shut up! You don't get it!" he could feel the wolf in him making him angrier than he could remember. Why couldn't Sirius understand? "I shouldn't be here Siri. I'm a monster. I'm not human. Look at me!" He pulled roughly at the bandages exposing the gaping wound in his side. I did this Siri. I did it to myself because I had no one else to attack. Who does that? You and James and Peter you say you don't care that I'm a werewolf, that you still want to be friends. But you just don't get it. I… AM… A… MONSTER!"

Sirius slipped from his chair so he was kneeling beside Remus's bed, face to face with him. "You're not a monster."

"I am. You know what you see if you read Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them? A description of me. Me, the beast, the werewolf, the monster." Two tears slid from under Remus's eyelids. "I'm going to tell Dumbledore I'm leaving. I've got to go. I shouldn't be here, around kids, around people. Imagine if I got out and did this to someone else. I'm a monster I belong in a cage not a school. Siri I'm a monster." Remus choked as sobs overtook his whole body. Climbing gently onto the bed, careful not to knock Remus' side, Sirius slipped his arm around his thin, shaking shoulders.

"You're not a monster."

"I..."

"No. Here me out. You are not a monster. You are Remus Lupin the most intelligent, caring, funny, sarcastic bloke I know. You have a problem. So do us all. James as an ego the size of Hogwarts, Peter can't tell one end of a wand from the other sometimes and me. Well obviously there's the problem of my incredible good looks but also I suck with people. I don't know how to be nice to them. How to talk to them without insulting them. You helped though. You made me a better person. No monster could do that Rem."

"But…"

"Nuh uh listening remember. Think about what you just said. You were worried about hurting people. That is so not a monster. A monster would not care. So now I want no more talk of monsters or beasts or leaving Hogwarts. I'm going to sit here and read to you. Alright?" At Remus' slight nod Sirius's face split into a lopsided grin again. "Good. I couldn't do Hogwarts without you Rem."


End file.
